Somewhere sometime

M-am dus aseară la amanta mea blonda a-i spun "La multi ani".
- Iubito, eu fac sălbatică decât oricând! I-am spus. Mai ales ma enervat azi pe creasta atunci când soția mea ma sunat maimuță și vreau răzbunare!
- Coaste poate nu ... l-am răspuns, trist.
- De ce copil, ce sa întâmplat? L-am întrebat.
- Tocmai am aflat că suntem de fapt sunt rude ...
- Cine dracu ți-a spus mai mult rahat?
- Tu chiar acum ...
- Eu?
- Da. M-am gândit doar pe mine maimuță ma făcut să mă soția ta ...

Somewhere in the mountains

Somewhere in the mountains on a road followed a truck runs a short distance from a luxury car. At one point the latter enters the overrun and when he gets in the cab right down the window and a gorgeous blonde, cute, and with blue eyes, cried the driver of the truck:
- Hey! I'm Julie and I'm blonde! See that your merchandise from the truck falls back!
The driver anything. Repeat step a few times with the same results. At one point, the truck pulls a fast food.
Visibly irritated that her good intentions stayed in vain, blonde Julie goes to the guy:
- Hey, I'm Julie and I am blonde and an hour still say you lose cargo truck. Are you deaf or sneaky?
- I'm John, I'm black, I'm not deaf, I'm leery, sprinkle salt on the road!

Superman tells him Spiderman

Spiderman Superman tells him:
- Well, as I was flying over skyscrapers so, I see a window on the Wonder Woman ...
- And?
- I approach and see it as very sensual naked. He pulls his dress, bra, panties, salacious lies on the bed and opens her legs.
- And you?
- I ... do not wait! I take momentum, jump on the windowsill and I throw it out there.
- And, and?
- And so I put it in the back-Invisible Man!

Prince Charming from boards

Login Prince Charming at the brothel:
"I got rid of Ileana Cosanzeana an hour, look my savings a year, I want a great experience ..."
"Camera 14 - special sensations - let's see ... at this time we ORBITAL SEX"
Prince Charming goes to room 14, enter undressed, wait a bit, smoke a cigarette. Open the door and enter a decrepit old woman coming towards him leaning against the wall.
Prince Charming - "Sex orbital?"
Baba - "Yes, son, here it is orbit" and removes his glass eye.

Arnold VS, Sly Stallone and Chuck Norris

Arnold VS, Sly Stallone and Chuck Norris come to God. It was sitting on a chair big and beautiful and right to have a seat.
- Which one of you will feel that you deserve to sit on my right?
Arnold. S.: You know I was a great actor and great politician, bodybuilding champion, I deserve.
S. Stallone: I have played in many films, written and directed by me, I deserve it.
Chuck Norris comes to God and says: See you sit in my seat!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson installed their tent in a camping. During the night, Holmes wakes up and tells his assistant:
- Watson, look at the stars and tell me what can we conclude?
- I see millions of stars and even if some of them have several planets, there are good chances to have planets like Earth and even if it is only a few planets like Earth, it is possible that they have developed a way of life, responding Watson.
- Watson, you idiot, says Holmes, we were stolen tent ...

Obama and Putin in a bar.

Obama and Putin in a bar. Between a guy and waiter says: 

- The Putin there was not Obama? 

- Yes. 

That goes to them and says: 

- Oh, what a honor to meet you! So what will be your next step? 

- We killed 100 Iraqis and a blonde. 

- Why a blonde? Ask the guy. 

When you say Obama lu Putin: 

- I told ba asshole that nobody passes them 100 Iraqis!

Red Riding Hood goes to grandma

Red Riding Hood goes to grandma . Just go into the woods and hopaaa ! .. Wolf appears . - " Red Riding Hood Buuuna ! , Yes where are you going ? "
- " Ehh , go to grandma . "
- " Yeah what happened , I see a little sad ? "
- "I feel kind of stupid , I feel like anything . "
- " Eli , do not worry Scufito not worry , I've got the cure you not to feel bad and getting your mood. " Loosen wolf 's pants and shows Riding Hood " medical instruments " ..
- " Red Riding Hood look . Syringe am here , I'll do an injection in a precise place and all they'll go away. But you have to get undressed . "
- "Well ... it's Wolf , undress , but surely passing ? "
- "Sure Scufito , guaranteed! " And therefore Lupul comes to " inject the antidote nechefului , feeling stupid ." After you finish ..
- " Ohhh , Wolf ... it . 're A real quack ! " .. And split both satisfied. Going dishes Riding Hood in the woods , when more arrive grandfather , Baba jaw meets .
- "Good Hood ! " Says Baba , "how so cheerful ? "
- " Eli , turn about without fancy home, but I met the wolf , and it helped . Know, he had a syringe , holding her pants , and he gave me an injection , like here , what entitled to a little overdone, but failed, now I feel better. "
- "Where you say you have syringe here? Had a form like this ... ? "
- " Yes Babo , and was black with a little red . "
- " Damn this Wolf , I said it's a pacifier .. "

Hai la sticle si borcane

Ieri dimineață, am fost trezit de un strigăt care ar putea fi audiat în afara casa mea:
butelii și borcaneeeeeee, cumparaaaaaaaam! Sticle și borcaneeeeeee, cumparaaaaaaaam!
Ea a fost un țigan care abia se mute, cu un mare sac mare pe spate. Am fost foarte încântat când am văzut-o. Aici este o subspecie a rasei de țigani care câștigă pâinea de zi cu zi sincer, am spus în mintea mea ... Acest tigan ar trebui încurajate! Aveți nevoie de ajutor! Mă duc în curte și porniți Rottweiler, ajuta-o să se mute într-un ritm vioi ......

Competition with stupid

Concurs. Temă, Cine nu reușește să facă un fund de, plânge ", și apoi, râde". Concurenți care vor intra pe turn stand, dar măgarul a avut nici o reacție. Vine țigani. Introduceți și după câteva minute, a început măgarul lui, striga "și la câteva minute a început mai târziu măgarul lui, râsul".
- Bravo! Cum ai făcut?
- Simplu. M-am dus la ureche și am spus că am o Scoală-te ", mai mare decât a lui și a început, plânge".
- Și cum ai făcut de mine, râd "?
- I-am arătat!

After stealing the whole village

A Gypsy stole almost everything after village woodcutter thought he had left.
One night enters his cage and began to put chicken in bag.
Woodsman hearing noises, took the gun and went to the coop.
While busily stealing tiganu, woodsman cry as he held his mouth:
-Wait! Who's there??
After a few seconds of silence ... tiganu 'says:
-November chickens, mother die, stay now!